a love within

2006-08-14T16:26:00.000+08:00

looks like there's plenty of excuses i'd come up with especially when it comes to studying proper.my exam starts tomorrow noon and its frustrating when i can focus no more!

here's how i deceive(and convince)myself thou:
.." hey,it's only an hour of study and then its leisure time in the next hour..(repetitively)"

2006-08-09T20:20:00.000+08:00

with time, working doesn't seem sooo much like a drag,
maybe just a little,
when the mood just ain't right,
and the weather's bad. yea, literally.
anyway, its national day today.
too many guests, too many kids, too many enquiries.
too many,, i like! =)

the girls went to catch the fireworks last night,
yes, i've been busy
prolly too caught up with something AND everything...
til i get abandoned,
guess i'll never figure how it's like to be in my friends' positions!!
HAHA! ;p

well, the situation's drowning me crazy
all i'm wishing for (right now) is a lil bit of nothing-ness
for once, i'm hoping for nothing-ness
but sadly, that won't stop us from aging (or does it?)
and that's the sad truth bout life
growing older each second
and ironically, it's only on birthdays that we realise
how time flies by! HAHA! ;p

i predict not a riot.
but a night's waiting to be burnt.
i guess there's a lot to catch up (right, sharon?)

please.. spare me those nagging, dear
haven't you heard bout learning from mistakes?
well, that's my take in life
it's funny
when people want to avoid mistake and i want to make mistake
well i guess....

failures are valuable lessons in life
i always wonder; how does it feel to live life perfect.
even the weather's not consistently perfect.
not even... err... marriage?
yup, marriage.
if marriage's ain't perfect, then why do we bother getting hitched?
is it that sense of belonging?
or is it the pressure to conform to what is a norm?

my take: marriage is perfect to the eyes of the people in love.

....that's why i love you, my perfect one!

2006-08-07T17:25:00.000+08:00

i need to pull the bullet right through my head.
why didn't i thought of that?
a simple phonecall saying how much i miss you
saves the day!

it finally felt good having to call sara and tell her i MISS her!
and i'm completely drenched in guilt.
for i've not met her for quite some time.
and its surprising to know.
for it's not only her i've not met.
christina, cindy, grace, mel, elaine, lily, ida, siew ting.
del, marini, kailing, az
wee2 and the np guys too!

i'm feeling so out of place today
and its not the work's that has been bothering me
just not in the right state of mind
ok, thats exaggerating
its just the week of the month where the pain gets to me
and i can't think for goodness sake!

the whole day's spent just lying on the bed
with the controller on my hand
switching between the discovery channel and the travel & living
during those short advertisements
oh and now, i finally found some energy (yes sayang, its stored energy!!)
to pick myself up from the self-created trauma
and start some typing and doing some research.

i've been looking at some car models
with reasonable price;and with the expensive-looking touch
nah, its not malaysian cars nor the korean cars i'm vying for
maybe good quality japanese car
or maybe continental?
i hope to make some good recommendations to sayang
cause i'm hoping that he'll ditch the idea of a second-hand car
ok, easier said
cause the money's not coming from my pocket!
=)

he's always mention that i've got classy taste
something's not realistic nor down-to-earth
something's not good-value-for-money
and something's just too good to be true.
i don't think classy's the word.
maybe i'm just a girl who has an eye for details
someone who prefers, say cars, with the personal touch
ring a bell?
customization!

now, what's wrong with customization?
something's different for a change
and probably people have to wear sunglasses just to look at it
HAHA! ok,that's corky.
anyway, i have a thing for big cars with nice interior touch.
nah, its not the lexus i'm thinking of
i'm talking cayenna and the xc-90
aren't they nice?

then again,
like sayang mentioned,
maybe sometimes i don't know what i'm talking about
practicality's an opposite course for me
and a new motto i should try to live with.
we're but in Singapore.
doesn't that make enough sense?

ok, it did.
now that i'm screening through his words.
for the first time
i'm in deep thoughts.
*mmm....*

=)

2006-08-04T08:40:00.000+08:00

alas,,a time dedicated to myself! everything's been concluded. the projects, mini tests and presentations, you know that thang. this week's the last week of school and man,i'm looking forward to it.no more waking up early and getting ready for school. haha!
the solar race went good and what can i say, perfecto! "Lydia" (the name of the car cause the guys decided that since the plate was pink and i was the only girl.. owell. no biggy)managed to beat the rest of the cars to the race! (yes,this's a big deal cause winner gets full marks!). all the hard work my group and i had put in.. yea,glad it'd not gone to waste.
the bd's presentation went good minus the fact tt i was puking real bad before that and that the hosting server let us down. hah! the moderator's kinda impressed (i think) and i'm glad our idea was good enough to keep her mouth shut. haha! =)
on the other hand,i'm glad work was a breeze to me. well,it ain't that tough for me to handle and it's not taking up a lot of my time too! it's good and what can i say, the visitors can be really,really funny. hah! i like! and the children are soooooooooo adorable. "cutey-cutey-cute"
i've been having a fair share of fun and stress but for now, let me just get over and done with the exams.then we'll talk bout this laters ya?
oh, have a nice day peeps!
and happy national day!

2006-07-21T09:51:00.000+08:00

nothing has been up lately except for the fact that i'd finally found a suitable location for my bar. bussorah street sounded good and familiar and when i drove down yesterday have a look, the place actually looked more awesome than it sounded. there were many different types of people who hanged out at bussorah. there were foreigners, teenagers and even young adults! good prospect, indeed! i took some pictures of the place including the bus stop and the sign-board just so to prove its accessibility. haha!
anyhow,i bumped into farhana at jurong east interchange and man,she looked sooo HOT! with that fashion and that brown curls.it's been ages since i last saw her and i'm glad she's moving on well in life.wishing her success in her studies!! =) and up to date,i've not seen sara for a record-breaking period of 6 months.gawd,what's so busy bout my student life? or is it the convenient excuse of mine? hah,i can't seem to draw a line.i miss sara! and should my schedule allows,i'll try my very best to meet you, hur sara! hahahahaha and of course that long-overdue birthday treat! *damn,i'm ashamed*
sayang's having his 21 km run at east coast right now and i can't thank him enough for staying up sooo late yesterday just to send me my work and the pictures! "thanks-yous"!!

so what's on my schedule tomorrow?
an amazing race with public transport
and a first aid course organized by the zoo!

P/S: is there anything else that i missed out?

2006-07-19T16:43:00.000+08:00

i read bout the tsunami and the number of people who lost their loved ones.well,according to papers,some are missing while others are found dead.it's depressing to see such high death toll and its especially heartbreaking to look at life after tsunami.some slowly moved on with life but others are still struck with shock and fright.bout what might happen in future?bout the potential earthquakes that might trigger tsunami again?bout whether their lives will be safe? it's times like these that makes me think bout the value of life and how life is so freaking vulnerable to external events.
i read bout the geographic aspect of tsunami and it's a pity that indonesia's located right on the big plates of the indian ocean. what i think would be good is to upgrade the technology aspects and perhaps, install some device which can somehow alert the villagers bout the oncoming tsunami. i know they're coming up with it but it's taking soooo long before the alert system starts to work. if there's anything all of us can do.... wouldn't it be good? *sigh*

2006-07-18T11:41:00.000+08:00

oh my,,the stock market's affecting my group sooo much. we're making such huge losses and i doubt we'd be able to recover much given the tight grace period. time's running out fast and i hope i'd make some cash before i call it a day! guess sometimes you win some and sometimes, you lose some. *sigh*
and looking at the global situation through the news, its heartbreaking to see a combo of massacres, bombings, killings and natural disasters taking place all at once. though singapore's miles away from the middle-east,i feel very disturbed when these kinda events occur.it seems to me that we (humans)are indifferent from animals.at least animals kill for survival.some humans kill for their selfish wants. everyday,innocents are dying and i bet its going to continue for the rest of the century.the Israelis and the Shii'te Muslims just won't stop destroying each other. compromisation is never part of their dictionary, i guess.nobody can stop them at this point of time. only death. i'm surprised to find out how the Americans and the Europeans flew in their private airlines to rescue ONLY their nationals.but what bout the innocents who're living in fear? and the casualties? are they gonna be left to die in their countries where governments have gone beserk? i'll never take the act of patrotism to be the answer for their actions. come on, we're all humans at the end of the day. *sigh*
at current,we can only wait and see (like what the American government is doing) who will win the battle. for those who die,then its too bad and for those who win, then congratulations. the nation may take possession of the oil rigs and be richer. its sad how life is like a battle-game in the PSP. then again, what else can a helpless and powerless person like me do?

2006-07-11T21:54:00.000+08:00

i feel so........
lost and clueless. (standing position)
empty and down. (source of inspiration has died)
heartbroken and depressed. (to love and lost)
insulted and despised. (to be named an animal)
useless and dumb. (airhead, you call it)
betrayed and broke. (combo of racial,religion & financial issues)
angry and hatred. (where heart-attack is highly possible)
disappointed and disheartened. (no future ahead)
threatened and scared. (death might come to me anytime of the day)

there's really no point.
and no u-turn either.
guess we've come to a dead-end.
it's either you or i will survive.

2006-07-05T21:59:00.000+08:00

FORZA ITALIA!

I must really give it to the Italians.They make me go LA-LA; a marvelous italian football indeed!The last time they played this good was in 1994 and it looked like history's (may) repeat itself (at least for this semi).Gosh,lipp's an intelligent strategist.Initially I kinda dislike the fact that Gattuso displayed that same crap with the same look on the German field.Also,I got turned off with their style of play.But after a while-despite my Monster Zee-I looked through lipp's masterplan.HAHAHA! I'm just baffled cause it was brilliant and more importantly, the masterplan worked! and that's where the Germans were on their knees and speechless for words. I can't stand their arrogance and cocky-ness.

so BUBBYE GERMANY! BUBBYE !*hoorah, hoorah*

Currently,I'm trying to catch a wink but the solar report's taking up my time.I'm still searching for the best deals for my solar panels of certain measurement,the perfect motor to run it powerfully and of course the suitable glass to protect those fragile solar panels. Cliff did a good job with the rendering of the pictures and I must say it'd be great to showcase our solar powered fountain in the heart of SP. HAHA! I'll paste the picture as soon as Cliff sends me yea?

til then, I'm counting down to the number of hours before getting to see how Zidane's gonna kick (C)ronaldo's ass! I'm in for france for this match so,,,

france for the win!!

2006-07-04T21:01:00.000+08:00

Somehow rather, I'm hooked to this inspirational song by Aguilera:

The Voice Within:
Young girl don’t cry
I’ll be right here when your world starts to fall
Young girl it’s alright
Your tears will dry, you’ll soon be free to fly
When you’re safe inside your room you tend to dream
Of a place where nothing’s harder than it seems
No one ever wants or bothers to explain
Of the heartache life can bring and what it means

When there’s no one else, look inside yourself
Like your oldest friend just trust the voice within
Then you’ll find the strength that will guide your way
You’ll learn to begin to trust the voice within

Young girl don’t hide
You’ll never change if you just run away
Young girl just hold tight
Soon you’re gonna see your brighter day
Now in a world where innocence is quickly claimed
It’s so hard to stand your ground when you’re so afraid
No one reaches out a hand for you to hold
When you look outside look inside to your soul

Life is a journeyIt can take you anywhere you choose to go
As long as you’re learning
You’ll find all you’ll ever need to know(be strong)
You’ll break it(hold on)
You’ll make it
Just don’t forsake it because
No one can tell you what you can’t do
No one can stop you, you know that I’m talking to you

Young girl don’t cry I’ll be right here when your world starts to fall

2006-07-02T10:25:00.000+08:00

oh yes,, henry scored!and of course,its all thanks to zidane. i have always idolized zidane for his ability to control the game.the french played superb in today's match especially zidane and honestly, i feel france deserves to win. i've not missed any of the french matches this world cup for a simple reason: i like their style of play; other than argentina.
I'm overjoyed and anxious at the same time for the final results. the final match between the french and the italian is going to be extremely tight.
oh my,,

brazil played like crap and like sayang mentioned, ronaldinho never fail to give away free balls. as much as i agree with the majority that brazil's got the right move and the right flavor to win 2006's world cup, today's match just changed my perception of them. honestly, complacency will not land them in good position. only after henry scored that goal did they woke up and then started to attack. goodness me, juan ought to be given that red card!!! brazil's crashed many of the supporters' hopes. and i must say, i'm so disappointed with them.

another match which i caught at bishan was the portugal-england match. based on yesterday's match, england performed better. and to see how they stumbled upon the penalties, it was just unbearable. by the way, lampard's an overstatement. like sayang mentioned, he was the only one who gave the most shots in this world cup but NONE went in. my goodness,, maybe gerrard should be the one to take the mid-attacking position. rooney's useless;a sore loser indeed!it would be good if man-u drop him. sore-losers turn me off and although many disagreed that rooney didn't deserve that red-card, i believe otherwise. honestly, i have this principle in life which read: people with big ego and big attitude don't go far. not only in football but in life as well. so i don't see why the red-card created many controversies amongst many. thank goodness rooney is skillful and useful because if he were to be ordinary (not a football player, i mean), he will struggle in all aspects of life.

anyway, anyhow, england deserved to win (according to yesterday's match).

2006-07-01T18:01:00.000+08:00

oh my,,it was really close! thanks to KLOSE who had to equalise everything towards the end. but you know what? all was good. i thought argentina played very well and deserved to win.
anyway, what's done is done. germany is through to meet Italy. my darn SCV has yet to work and i'm slowly losing my patience. i slept halfway through the Italy match yesterday and i'm still bitter about it. it was definitely NICE knowing how Italy got through and its final score but it wasn't NICE just knowing. i believe in watching it proper. and its all thanks to an event today that i had to wake up at 6 am. and thats pathetic cause i believe i dozed off around 4 am. *sigh*
seems like mcdonalds (islandwide) have become the hot spot amongst many- me included. its nice to see how people become football fan overnight. its nice to see how world cup creates many supporters. its nice to see how people are betting on world cup and make money. its nice to see these changes and the commentaries made by the people around. its stupid and funny at the same time. owell,,, life's just full of interesting thoughts.

england's gonna take on portugal. and i still cannot forget how portugal beat the netherlands (don't remind me! !). i'm not a loyal fan of england either. oh my,, i'm neutral and basically i don't care who loses or who wins because i think, they'll eventually lose out to france in their next match. so, why bother?

but looking at how portugal is totally off-form,, i got to say that england might be at an advantage. but let's see what portugal can do tonight in order to creep through to the semi-finals. HAHA. yes,, i'm being sarcastic and the only reason is that: why it had to be germany?

2006-06-28T19:42:00.000+08:00

oh man, i'm just fumed over the fact tt my SCV could not function at all the whole of yesterday! so what's left for me was the non-SCV channels on the TV. and tuesday being bored-day, there was nothing great on the schedule!! gawd,gawd, gawd. i missed the chance of watching how Ghana got defeated by Brazil and besides, i heard it was a pretty good match as well. oh my,, and i had to miss my France battling it out against my Spain! darn, darn, darn.. i wonder,wonder,wonder..how France became totally on-form for its game against the Spanish team this morning especially when it had been like weeks since the world cup began. *oh man!* i'm hoping that this SCV problem will be solved cum friday. i won't want to miss every part of Argentina! oh, and Germany is going home! ;)

P/S: Sorry Germany fans. I,too, love Germany and Ballack especially. But what can I say, there has to be one winner and that is...

HAIL ARGENTINA!!!

2006-06-23T14:07:00.000+08:00

No matter how hard the soccer fever hit me, no matter how dark my eyes have become, no matter how sleepier I've been in broad daylights.. nothing compares to the feeling of watching...

how Ukraine knocked out the Arabians
how Torres scored it all?
how splendid the Argentinians played against the Netherlands
how Netherlands put on a great,great defence
how Ghana (the first African team) kicked Czech out of it all?
how weak the English defence was
how Aussie made a tremendous comeback after eon years
how Japan could have lost to Aussie
how Ronaldo got back his fighting spirit and taught the Japanese a "don't-mess-with-us" lesson
how Riquelme managed to retain the ball despite a tough defence from Netherlands
how the referree gave Ronaldo a yellow-card for merely trying to "rembat" the ball into the net
how useless Crouch had been for the past 2 games
how hard it must have been for Oliver Khan for not being able to participate

oh man,all the games except the Portugal's are keeping me alive! at least, in the night time when my parents are asleep. =)

It's sad that holiday's coming to an end cum Sunday but nevertheless,I'll still have my eyes on the screen.

Hail Argentina!

2006-06-14T19:11:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday!!

2006-06-13T22:38:00.000+08:00

an afternoon phone-call made my day! nah.. not from that special someone. it's from my soon-to-be manager. =) finally,I've land myself a job as amembership promoter.I can only hope for the best cause this is the first time I'm actually coming up to someone to "sell" a zoo membership! hahahah.. yes,I'm working in the front-line of the singapore zoo ONLY. not working with animals (phew.. i'm glad). cause....did I mention how i would get overly-petrified whenever I sense an animal coming close to me? gee, the phoebia's still there and it's lasting. i think. heez.
anyway,i didn't feel too well as of late and this has nothing to do with the world cup. or is it? hahhaha.. brazil's kicking off its first match today and man,i hope im able to stay awake throughout the entire 2 hours or so. and france is also playing today! damn. and this means.... *hurhur*

oh, and by the way, today is bibik's birthday!

HAPPY 34th BIRTHDAY, BIBIK TINI!!!!

YOU'RE STILL THE BEST AUNT I'VE EVER KNOWN!

STAY CHIRPY, HEALTHY AND HAPPY ALWAYS!

CHEERIOS,

LYDIA

2006-06-11T11:46:00.000+08:00

i've not been able to update myself for the past few days and it's courtesy of the series of pop-ups. goosh!can't believe ONE miserable download messed everything i had stored in my computer!!! =( *i wish i'd pay more attention to Mr Raj's lesson*
anyway, last friday meeting with the workshop guys was good. we got almost all the things done and hopefully,we would meet the dateline hur. and hopefully, the car would work on the test day. and hopefully, there's good sunlight on the test day too! just can't wait to get it started! =) Anyway,here's a picture of us after a long, hard day at work!! (above)

Eversince the football fever begun, i haven't had much of a good night sleep either. HAHA! Germany played rather well eventhough Ballack was not able to join the team for the first match. They did pretty wokay and I was impressed!! and i kinda like their style of playing. =) *reallyyyyy good*
Yest's England match was just... boring? and to think most of the players including Eriksson blamed it on the sun for their failure is just disappointing. anyway, England didn't actually score for the game and many was expecting them to punch in at least 4 goals. I couldn't believe that they relied on the "own goal" to push them through.Mmm.. what a game! *and sayang actually went all the way to town to watch the England match!!* I thought it's a wasted trip =p

2006-06-11T11:35:00.000+08:00

Makan-Makan..... *yummy*

The whole class outside Takashimaya *cheezzze*

Post-lunch *burp*

2006-06-08T00:31:00.000+08:00

Wow!! It had been a decade since I last harboured this kinda excitement and joy. Yes,it was that feeling of just going out to chill and not having to think about anything and everything! And yes,cash flew like nobody's business and time flew like there's no tomorrow either. I like this kinda feeling of liberation. You know,liberation from all those school projects, tests and meetings. Those things are such a hurdle but for today,"work", "assignments" and "projects"never form part of my dictionary. HAHA. That's how happy I was today =)
I had the semester's class outing at seoul garden this afternoon and man.. despite all those "i-don't-want-to-eat-much" drama,the outing was incredibly fantastic. Of course,having me and Mr David sharing a table of four,many equated us with the word "look-at-that-hungry-ghosts". hahaha.. we ate like nobody's business and I was glad that Mr David and I shared a common outlook on life =) HURRAH!! Anyway,the photo taking sessions were great as well; with Florence looking soooooo cute in ALL the pictures. Not the girly kinda cute but the celebrity kinda cute. I like! =)
The Omen was pretty crappy and full of (redundant) shocking scenes. Thank God no old man died while watching it(as in the case of Japan). I was of course full of screams and laughters especially when people behind just couldn't stop uttering vulgarities (in a stupid manner) during the supposedly-frightening scenes. HAHA! But nevertheless,I enjoyed the company because this was the first time I watched movie with my class! The day ended with me partnering Soma versus Sharon partnering Fazly cum Kelvin in several pool matches. Of course, there were no clear winners but nevertheless, I had fun!!!

2006-06-07T00:20:00.000+08:00

I am still not feeling too good in terms of my health.This bad stomach flu of mine keeps on interfering with my daily schedules and hopefully there will be a miracle tomorrow. =) Anyway, the whole last-min interview session went well on Monday.Thou like I've said-last minute-I managed to get all my things prepared in a jiffy and got the candidates seated accordingly at the planned venue and at the planned time.I must say that the candidates for the SMART group were really different as compared to the past candidates in terms of their academic results, their outstanding leadership abilities and their excellent CCA track records. Moreover,having to select only 4 students out of 19 short-listed students was really a tough job for me and my friends.It took us the whole 2 hours after the formal interview ended before we finally listed out the 4 deserving ones. In this kinda situation, I must say that rejection is really inevitable. =/ Anyway, after all that had been said and done,I'm quite satisfied with my choices and am hopeful that SMART group will continue to achieve excellence in every tasks assigned. =)

On a more abrupt note,I think...I want to have my hair extended! =o

2006-06-03T12:14:00.000+08:00

Now I see the picture. My dreams, almost 99% of them,are all based on my list of fears. This includes my fear of losing someone dear to me, fear of animals, fear of being punished for being a rebel and a whole lot more. I dreamt about my bad habits as well and how all that relates to my fear. It's scary enough to dream of those things and what makes it even scarier is the fact that I'm able to remember every single details to all the dreams/fears I had.
I'm clueless as to how I should feel right now. Whether I should feel scared that those fears will stay or might even come knocking on my doors again or should I feel happy to know all the fears I have and maybe, face them.

Until I find a dream interpreter,I'll never know what they actually mean.
Help?

2006-06-01T23:47:00.000+08:00

I've been awfully busy with school work that almost everything had to be put on hold.My three meals a day,my movies,my friends,my good sleep and even my iPod.But for now,I'm glad that that stressful period of a month is now gone for good.Well,I can't complain about how tired I have been because honestly,I feel so recharged after having to complete 3 core projects in a matter of weeks.It's ironic to most but I feel its good to put my already-worn-out brains to use. ;)

2006-05-27T02:23:00.000+08:00

gee! i'm freaking exhausted!!

2006-05-14T00:43:00.000+08:00

2006-04-25T15:56:00.000+08:00

Weeeeee!

2006-04-19T22:58:00.000+08:00

it is amazing how i can get enormously nervous before i even step into the lecture theatre for my gem module. i figure it could be because of the nature of the course which is independent of what i've been learning in my current banking course. the nervousness somehow gets to me cause i find myself asking the lecturer quite a few stupid questions. grrr.. its highly unexpected for one to find a business-inclined student to be taking aeronautical/electronic/mechanical course as a gem module. hah! that's the thing. it must be my greed that made me select that course. not greed money, gundu! it's cert-greediness that gets to me. how cool is it having to design and model a car which has great power and capability to run fast and then, win a cert for being able to do that? damn.. see what i mean? and i'm baffled by how fickle and naive i can get when in actual fact, i know nuts about mechanical stuff and my physics is seriously not in good shape. hah!
anyhow, the gem class was pretty weird because there were 39 guys and 4 girls including myself. the atmosphere was somewhat different from the classes i've attended before and man, i pray that the lessons would not be just as boring. i mean, look.. how interesting can a male-dominated class get? hahahahaha.. ;o

by the way, HAPPY BIRTHDAY SARA!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-04-16T12:22:00.000+08:00

dreams
i haven't had the best of dreams as of late but instead,my dreams are infested with the badly-inclined ones. badly-inclined ones meaning either i was blowing my top at someone, searching for something/someone or the spooky,ghostly-natured ones. i always wonder why do we dream or are dreams a tell-tale of a potential event or is it just what make our days complete? i wonder.

the previous night,i dreamt that i had a heated argument with aaron. i wonder why i hated him sooo much in dreams that whenever he comes into my dreams, it'll always be me yelling my head off at him. thou its just a dream,it felt so real. anyway, does that mean i'm actually having this grudge against him in real life? i can be such a ridicule but.. o well,i wish i'll have a chance to meet up with a dream interpreter. perhaps,i can understand what my dreams actually mean and whether or not it's just something harmless and holds no meaning to anything in real life.

yesterday night, i dreamt about the exorcism. something about the spirits haunting people i love. my mum and my beloved cousin. oh,its not that i never wash my legs when i reached home last night so thats not the cause of my bad dream. my mum and cousin could somehow twist their bones and head in such a way that their actions somehow made me screamed real loud in bed. yes, i screamed. since the time i woke up at 3 am til now,i haven't gotten over with that dream.

is there anything i can do to make me understand my dreams?

dream interpreter, holla me!

2006-04-14T21:41:00.000+08:00

He's my red, red wine....

Red, red wine

Red, red wine, stay close to me

Red red wine, you make me feel so fine

You keep me rockin' all of the time

Red red wine, you make me feel so grand

I feel a million dollar when you're just in my hand

Red red wine, you make me feel so sad

Any time I see you go, it make me feel bad

Red red wine, you make me feel so fine

Monkey back and ease up on the sweet deadline

Red red wine, you give me holy pahzing

Holy pahzing, you make me do my own thing

Red red wine, you give me not awful love

Your kind of lovin' like a blessing from above

Red red wine, I loved you right from the start

Right from the start, with all of my heart

Red red wine in an eighties style

Red red wine in a modern beat style

Yeah Give me a little time, let me clear out my mind

Give me a little time, let me clear out my mind

Give me red wine, the kind make me feel fine

You make me feel fine all of the time

Red red wine, you make me feel so fine

Monkey back and ease up on the sweet deadline

The line broke, the money get choked

Bunbah, ganjapani, little rubber boat

Red red wine, I'm gonna hold on to you

Hold on to you 'cause I know you love truth

Red red wine, I'm gonna love you till I die

Love you till I die, and that's no lie

Red red wine, can't get your off my mind

Wherever you may be, I'll surely find

I'll surely find

2006-04-14T21:31:00.000+08:00

YAY! work is finally over and done with. as usual this kinda mixed feeling is just inevitable. when you start getting closer to your department and the people around the workplace and then having to leave just as it's about to get started. you know, that kinda feeling? oh well.. i believe its yet another part of our lives. parting is not an option. it has blend into our social norms and daily events. then again.. that kinda feeling leaves me stranded and that life is certainly never fair.
i received lotsa blesssings from my colleagues and especially from my supervisor. the farewell, albeit its simplicity, was something really special to me. they wished me all the best for my studies and everything i do and hopefully, all that they wish me would come true. only time will tell. anyway, with all that emotional things all done with,i'm glad to give a brand new start to my third year already. as weird as it may sound,i miss school. kinda. heh.

i look forward to making lotsa friends, meeting lotsa new faces and working with my classmates again!

woo hoo.

;)

2006-04-09T22:19:00.000+08:00

it's obvious why i have not logged on to my blog for eons. work? remember?
but since my work is only down with 4 more days,i'm feeling kinda up and way brighter. no more wearing office wear and doing routinized work. oh gawd,such routinized work can be such a killer and especially when you've got nothing else to settle for,then this is what people always say "tough luck".i used to believe in luck then but now,with experience,i no longer adopt such unjust belief.to depend on luck is equivalent to depending your life on circumstances and eventually,the idea of depending on luck can ruin your life.anyway,i believe i create my own destiny and there's really no such thing as luck. luck equals false hope/belief. well anyway,though work can be such a bore,it's also unbelievably draining.i feel so drained and lifeless at the end of each working day. i thought boring work brings no pain or any dramatic draining consequences. 4 more days til the end of attachment but it seems a little bit sad havin to leave behind one/ two new colleagues. ahhh.. this part of life is something i really can't tolerate. having to meet and then part.yup,i haven't wake up my idea of what's real and what's not but i guess it's just normal for me to feel this way. you know,unable to accept the reality at times.
with attachment going to be over real soon, school is also on its way to meeting up with me next week. i'm excited and anxious at the same time. i can't wait to start afresh once more and this time,i'll make it such that i'll not regret the things i should/should not have done. this time,i have to make it right and better.

oh, for my friends who're having exams around the corner, all the best in the papers and we'll meet up after your papers, aight?
and for friends who're overly excited cause of the pink IC, go get a job lazy asses!

have a nice day. =)

2006-03-27T21:35:00.000+08:00

i feel so lost and out of place
grieving about everything that had just happened
trying so darn hard to control my emotions just so i don't fall apart by the end of the day

i feel so aimless and depressed
thinking about how i could be a better person
then maybe i wouldn't have to go through this period of loneliness

i feel so drowned
drowned in an ocean of sadness
wishing i could come back to the island breathing
and feeling what is like to live again

i wish for a better tomorrow
a better aim and motto
a better future
and hopefully a better life.

2006-03-26T21:44:00.000+08:00

oh man,im not in the best of mood today. i wonder why..
and my ability to have this telepathy with my closed ones sometimes frustrates me.
suddenly,im like down with a real bad headache or an unbearable stomach pain(not the toilet kind, mind you);and i don't even know the reason why!
like.. i can be walking into the mall and just one second later,i could dropped unconsciously beside you.
it's how scary and here comes the frustrating part:i don't even know why I suddenly feel that way and even if i predict that its prolly because either one of my closed ones fell sick, i won't be able to know who is it until later that day or prolly the next day.

gee, if only i own a crystal ball.
maybe i don't have to worry excessively and play the guessing game.

2006-03-21T14:47:00.000+08:00

i hate to get behind those wheels cause if i don't endanger other people's lives i.e. the pedestrians, then i'd get into sticky situations with fellow cabs. Either i'd be on a verge of crashing them or getting into quarrels with them. Looks like after today,i'm a self-proclaimed killer driver. Now you know the reason why it's soooo much better to be chauffeured around?

it's convenient and most importantly, safe.
especially when Sayang is driving. =)

to put it bluntly,i'm just................not a driver-material.

2006-03-21T14:04:00.000+08:00

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved.

You'd like your lover to think you are stylish and alluring.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.

Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious.

You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.
In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

2006-03-19T16:42:00.000+08:00

whoa.. i just came back from kulai in which i had attended a wedding. the wedding wasn't like the norm or a grand one but what i like bout it was the simplicity of the wedding.no need for big tents, hotels, restaurants and stuff like that; only the closed ones and siblings attending the wedding. my initial thought was that the wedding was too simple for my liking. i mean,what's a wedding without it being a grand one?but as i sat and talked to most of the people there, i realised the sweetness of everything.you don't really need acquaintances around on your special day. who you really need are your family and closed ones.you know,just special people on your special day. oh,and your partner. =)
however, there's one thing that made me hate bout going back to kampung: seeing how they live their lives and their unstable health conditions. i hate this situation where i'm drowned in helplessness.i want to do something to make a difference to their lifestyles but it's heartbreaking knowing i can't do anything bout it. i'm no God but i believe a little help goes a long way. i saw my grandma's older brother and he was lying on the mattress throughout cause he is suffering from a stroke. he hardly moves except for just sitting.you know what makes me really, really sad?that i seemed to resemble his dead child.when he kept looking at me and then cried,i just couldn't do anything but to feel for him.i can't suppress this feeling of sympathy and helplessness in me that i almost cry a little.at that moment,i feel that i haven't really done anything constructive for him or maybe the poorer community on a whole. i used to volunteer my services by going down to home for the aged twice a week when i was in secondary school.what can i say..now,i've become a much more selfish individual.i won't blame my workload or schedule because i believe it all boils down to me- whether i want to do it or not. i hate it when i keep having bagloads of excuses cause i know deep within i make such a great liar. that's why i had and will always have this goal of contributing my services and money to the poor when i start working laters.i want to make a difference in their lives and make them feel ordinary. owell,this is just my plan and whether i'll accomplish it depends on my future. i can just hope. =>

2006-03-14T20:39:00.000+08:00

i didn't exactly had the best time of my life for the past few days. work can reaally drag my mood down sometimes especially when there's little left for me to do;but on a lighter note,work has been fine. though i might not get posted to an interesting and a far more challenging department, unlike some of my friends, i guess at the end of everything, it all boils down to how i'd like to look at it. what koonpo said makes a lot of sense-especially when i keep telling him i hate my job! i hate to work where i get stuck behind those four walls! i hate to sit around doing something so routinized!-he similarized my current situation with his army life and told me, he didn't want to go through NS too but he had no choice. so,he just gave his best shot and enjoyed that moment. he really knocked some logic into my brain and i'm taking this attachment as positive as it can ever be. =) gee, thanks koonpo! oh by the way,he's leaving for disneyland tomorrow. grrr.. yup i understand he already got back his pink IC and stuff and man... i'm full with envy. he's enjoying his holidays and i had to work during my holidays? how uncool. ;(
and me being me,i'll make sure he grabs something nice for me!! =p

i'm not the type who'd want to equate work with no life cause it's really untrue to a greater extent. though i may not shop around town or enjoy the finest delights cum nightfall, i feel so extraordinarily special just having to wait like all the rest to board the bus and take an hour ride home. it's a special feeling to do something so ordinary cause honestly,i used to hate being ordinary. you know, like joining the bandwagon kinda thing. but right now,i'm beginning to fall in love with what's simple and pure. aah.. this is the wonders of simplicity. =)

it's only 1 week away before i can see Sayang again. time really zoomifies when you're caught up with work and play. YAY!

Next friday... here I come!

2006-03-11T19:09:00.000+08:00

March 11, 2006
Free report for: Lydia
Your Temperament is Artisan

Artisans are the temperament with a natural ability to excel in any of the arts, not only the fine arts such as painting and sculpting, or the performing arts such as music, theater, and dance, but also the athletic, military, political, mechanical, and industrial arts, as well as the "art of the deal" in business.

Artisans are most at home in the real world of solid objects that can be made and manipulated, and of real-life events that can be experienced in the here and now. Artisans have exceptionally keen senses, and love working with their hands. They seem right at home with tools, instruments, and vehicles of all kinds, and their actions are usually aimed at getting them where they want to go, and as quickly as possible. Thus Artisans will strike off boldly down roads that others might consider risky or impossible, doing whatever it takes, rules or no rules, to accomplish their goals. This devil-may-care attitude also gives the Artisans a winning way with people, and they are often irresistibly charming with family, friends, and co-workers.
Artisans want to be where the action is; they seek out adventure and show a constant hunger for pleasure and stimulation. They believe that variety is the spice of life, and that doing things that aren't fun or exciting is a waste of time. Artisans are impulsive, adaptable, competitive, and believe the next throw of the dice will be the lucky one. They can also be generous to a fault, always ready to share with their friends from the bounty of life. Above all, Artisans need to be free to do what they wish, when they wish. They resist being tied or bound or confined or obligated; they would rather not wait, or save, or store, or live for tomorrow. In the Artisan view, today must be enjoyed, for tomorrow never comes.

Artisans make up between 15 to 20 percent of the population, which is good, because they create much of the beauty, grace, fun, and excitement the rest of us enjoy in life.

The Four types of Artisans are:
Promoters (ESTP) Composers (ISFP) Crafters (ISTP) Performers (ESFP)

2006-03-10T22:43:00.000+08:00

2006-03-08T20:26:00.000+08:00

when i'm in school,how i wish i'm working and earning but now when i'm on the other side,i really longed to come back to student life. working is not exactly tough but i feel sick doing routine work. although it's only 3 days since,i seriously feel that i need to get out of routine,fixed work.i'm just wondering how my colleagues can endure this type of work. i like working under pressure and stress cause that's where i'll perform. working in absolutely back-door environment is not something i'd yearn for. honestly. despite the nice colleagues i had.but my decision still remains: NAH..i'm not being picky either, it's just that i know myself quite well. you know what? i picture myself doing this same task for the next 5 weeks or so! and man,it's gonna be unbearably dreadful. i know my whinning here doesn't help but, i'm just penning down my thoughts on what i've been through for the past 3 days.

is there a way out?

will there be miracle?

can i request for a change in working venue? perhaps, working for a different department or something?

enterprise planning sounds good. so does project team.

gee.. if only.

2006-03-05T19:20:00.000+08:00

i feel terribly disappointed and heartbroken today. its tough to withstand the feeling of being cast aside. well,obviously i've not been cast aside in a way that is totally oblivious before;so when i'm caught in that position(of being cast away),the feeling is just full of sadness more than anger. i wonder if i'm really being understanding by giving way to her boyfriend or i'm just obliged to scram from the scene upon his arrival to her house. argh. the entire event makes me upset but i guess.. now i know where i stand. =(

2006-03-05T12:06:00.000+08:00

woo.. the exam period was never never fun and I'm glad it's over and done with.
and it's funny that when you kept mugging like a planless person for a period of say 1 month, you'll find yourself plainly boring, confused and clueless as to how you'd want to spend the post-exam period enjoying. Enjoying is really subjective and to an extent, nobody really has a clue to what enjoyment is all about. well, i'm no exception to that too. when i was mugging, i kept thinking of many, many plans and activities which i could engage in during post-exam period but now that it's really post-exam period, i feel like just slacking on the couch and watching as many DVDs as possible. it's ironic i know but i still can't figure out why. any-o-how,i spent my post-exam days just visiting my grandparents whom I've not met for like 2 months?!?! yeah,how unfillial but i think i'm gona make a u-turn at this point in time and strive for a positive change. and the thought of finally completing my shopping is really gratifying although its not really casual wear that i bought.instead,i bought a bag of office wear for my attachment which will commence tomorrow!!!!!!! time is fast. oh by the way, my blue working shoes with stiletto heels just makes me melt. see, i've got a fetish for those kinda shoes! hehehee..

2006-03-02T23:44:00.000+08:00

the QuestionerTest finished!
you chose CY - your Enneagram type is SIX.

"I am affectionate and skeptical"

Questioners are responsible, trustworthy, and value loyalty to family, friends, groups, and causes. Their personalities range broadly from reserved and timid to outspoken and confrontative.

How to Get Along with Me

Be direct and clear.
Listen to me carefully.
Don't judge me for my anxiety.
Work things through with me.
Reassure me that everything is OK between us.
Laugh and make jokes with me.
Gently push me toward new experiences.
Try not to overreact to my overreacting.

What I Like About Being a Six

being committed and faithful to family and friends
being responsible and hardworking
being compassionate toward others
having intellect and wit
being a nonconformist
confronting danger bravely
being direct and assertive

What's Hard About Being a Six

the constant push and pull involved in trying to make up my mind
procrastinating because of fear of failure; having little confidence in myself
fearing being abandoned or taken advantage of
exhausting myself by worrying and scanning for danger
wishing I had a rule book at work so I could do everything right
being too critical of myself when I haven't lived up to my expectations

Sixes as Children Often

are friendly, likable, and dependable, and/or sarcastic, bossy, and stubborn
are anxious and hypervigilant; anticipate danger
form a team of "us against them" with a best friend or parent
look to groups or authorities to protect them and/or question authority and rebel
are neglected or abused, come from unpredictable or alcoholic families, and/or take on the fearfulness of an overly anxious parent

Sixes as Parents

are often loving, nurturing, and have a strong sense of duty
are sometimes reluctant to give their children independence
worry more than most that their children will get hurt
sometimes have trouble saying no and setting boundaries

Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele
The Enneagram Made Easy Discover the 9 Types of People HarperSanFrancisco, 1994, 161 pages
You liked the test? so please RATE it :-)

Link: http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take

2006-02-23T23:31:00.000+08:00

why the hell do i get so whiny for?
i got a banking position for my attachment.
and to top it all off, i'm posted to ocbc bank for that matter.
now why the hell am i grumbling about?
some of my friends don't even get to go to banking line. man, i wish i can be much of a help to them and that is if only i know someone from the banking line............. (and i do hope they'll have a fantabulous time doing their attachments!! ) but unfortunately, i don't.
gawd, looks like it's about time to widen my social circle and mix with the right people man.
i've got to get started, somehow, somewhere.

dammit. i can't figure myself out even up to this point. like what's the deal with me, man?
i can be irritatingly complacent and somebody tell me, who doesn't want the best for themselves?
i know i know.. if i wanna be the best then i got to earn it but, haven't i earn much?
gawd.. this situation sucks.

anyway,i was pretty disappointed at how i attempted my law question just now. to be exact, it was the question pertaining to the apparent authority of bernard. since when have my mind's been all so clogged up? i'm hardly getting any ventillation in here,dude. =( it's not a good sign especially when i know i'd have nailed it but i got the eleventh-hour brain-dead disease. hopefully i'd get all the ice that's clogging my brain to melt down over the weekend or something.
oh, by the way, the jog at pandan reservoir wasn't as relaxing as i wanted it to be. yes, i did get my heart beat pumped up but only to find rashes down my chest area and thanks to the jog too now my mind's twirling like the merry-go-round. you know.. like you keep moving perfectly with each second but only to end up at the same position as you were when you first board it? do you get it?

you don't?

nah, i don't expect you to understand either.

it's okay.

if only batman is around, maybe i'll be the luckiest woman alive! rescue me!!!

2006-02-19T13:42:00.000+08:00

2006-02-18T22:48:00.000+08:00

with him leaving in a couple of hours time,it's just... hard;and why is it that he had to leave me in times when i need him the most? grrr... this is one of the reasons why NS life can be pretty sucky although i'm not a related party here!! NS affects me indirectly and that's a bad thing!!!

"..He showered me with the longlasting,duracell-powered sunshine for the past few days and honestly,i think i'd like to be stuck in this position for as long as the time can lasts. wouldn't it be niceeee? *hurhur* to have sunshine in your life over and over again??? We took a couple of photographs but then again,those are but just photographs--similarly,at this stage,i find that memories are but just memories. perhaps, i can boldly detach those memories(which were once deeply etched in my heart) and camouflage myself with the everchanging environment.things do change and so do people. i was once an unhealthy skeptic but now,i find myself breezing through independently on a greener pasture. i'm glad things happened in the past because it made me a better someone, i believe--to tell you the truth, my world wouldn't be almost-complete if i hadn't met him. though there are just a list too many differences between us and how we ended up exchanging our opinions in an unfriendly way, i'm surprised on how i find myself succumbing to that bittersweet exchange for the purpose of keeping me sane and alive!..."

isn't it bizzare to detest and crave for that exact same event altogether?
and that is one out of the many,many reasons why he's so special to me.

i love you,Sayang!

P/S: I'll be waiting for my anna-sui so.. come back soon! ;p

2006-02-15T14:45:00.000+08:00

So what's the "top 5 things" in my agenda as of today?
Simple.

1. Anxiously waiting for my bank posting. Hopefully,I'll get posted to Deutche bank.
2. Dedicating my entire weekend with Sayang before he finally leaves for India on Sunday.
3. Diligently making trips to school just so I could cover all topics before exams next week.
4. Looking forward to grab that Kappa top from Taka Square.
5. Framing up the nice stamps of us and pin it on my room wall.

2006-02-06T23:11:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I admit that life is unfair; perhaps I omit the oblivious truth around me wherever I go.
....Even when I step into the basic classroom sitting in a non-samurai position, even when I take a short bus ride down town, even when I queue for some fruits, even when I'm jotting down notes in the lecture hall, even when I bypass the wet market.......
It's almost impossible to please everyone around me; not even my own friends for example.But I believe the next-reasonable step is to please myself from within before I start recruiting others into my social circle.It's only after I satisfy my desires and wants that I feel liberated once more, that I feel confident once more, that I feel happier once more, and that I feel my life is almost complete. It's only human nature to feel the need to be belonged and accepted especially with our traditional, oriental upbringing despite Singapore's individualist culture(or so to become).I do feel the need to be belonged and accepted to; but only to a certain extent.I admit,in the past, having more than 20 friends was such a big thing to me.I had to be seen with peers clinging around my waist anywhere and anytime.But I realised soon after that that criteria slowly diminished into the thin air and unfortunately,that was not the end of the story.Currently,I feel the need to be understood more than anything else.I used to only think of myself(well,some call it "self-centred") and that the whole world revolved around me and again,I made a fool to myself.Now I know that that can never be the case.Why then do we, humans,still live life oh-so-selfishly? mm..I guess the reason lies behind that facade of yours and mine. I have my reasons and you want a clue?

I believe this world is of.." a man for himself".It's a world of survival out there even if the affected parties involved are artificial persons.It's a business eat business, man.If you aren't going to do something to upgrade your ass,nobody will.Nobody will be kind enough to continuously remind you to progress at whichever rate you should or whichever stage you ought to. Remember? Humans can be selfish. Maybe I'm estopped by this very point that when I press myself to rely on such point every now and then,I find myself becoming more independent and perhaps, less demanding of others. Others have their own point of views and concepts to how they want to run their lives so what's the use to instructing them to do things your way?Is this life all about your way?Well then I guess,in such situations, that's where the turning point appears. Sometimes,there's just zero things you can do about changing one's opinions and decisions in life.No matter how selfish you can be,somehow rather,when it comes to this point.. you'll never be the one in control. Remember? We control our own lives and others control theirs. You might think of solution "A" but must other conform to your thinking in order to make you happy?What about their happiness? Must their happiness be constantly at stake just so you can enjoy the rest of the day? Come on. Face the reality.

Did I mention that reality bites?

2006-02-05T12:05:00.000+08:00

The past 2 days were such a roller-coaster ride for me.One thing was for sure-I learned quite a lot about myself-how I reacted to people around me when I was so down and how I found it perpetually tough to filter general thoughts i.e. which thoughts came from my head and which thoughts actually came from my heart.I thought I was fully assured on the fact that I was a head-ruling rather than the heart-ruling emotion person, but this time around,I feel so squashed between those two points.I need to know where I belong cause lingering between those two points makes me a person with no directions in life and a person whose life remains so aimless and full of infatuations.

thus,I decided to probe some questions(to myself)which perhaps could help me figure a gratifying solution:-

If I behave irrationally,do I use my heart to make decided decisions?
If I'm suicidal,do I use my head to analyze before putting a full-stop to my life?
If I'm depressed,do I use my heart to remind myself of a big sin if I (ever)become a drinker albeit enabling myself to drown in a "world free from problems" ?
If I'm stressed out,do I use my head to think of the health-hazards before lighting a cigarrette?
If I'm fickle-minded,do I use my heart to think about how my actions affect my "neighbour"?
If I'm furious,do I use my head before spitting intense words-which I don't mean-on someone hence causing unintentional hurt and unnecessary tears?

2006-02-04T14:43:00.000+08:00

Korean prints,indeed!

2006-02-02T20:26:00.000+08:00

if only i have a swimming pool in my house or at any radius to where I'm located(at least),life could have been a little chirpy. on most occasions that i bumped into japdeep,i found myself telling him i so want to soak. well,that's the least i can do to shrug off this tormented feelings of stress. stress from all the last minute projects with its last minute deadlines, gem written tests which unfortunately come a little too early, pressure to get perfect score for my macro-analysis(or else,i'm screwed!!) and the upcoming interviews. gosh! i know, i know.. pissing and whining don't exactly get things done but hey! it helps, alright? and it helps more knowing you guys are reading this. hahahahaha... cause i have "audiences". =)
i'm glad andrew accepted my project proposal cause now i can forget about worrying excessively as to whether ambrose will award me another D this time around. looks like i have to be on a go now...yeah, you bet. rather abruptly but.. til i find another slack time!

i need a moment to liberate!

2006-02-01T18:18:00.000+08:00

The mind-boggling issue is finally almost-over.At least now I know I'm secured of a decent position in the bank- foreign ones or not.I'm short-listed for an interview with the swiss bank and hopefully,I'll nail it man. This is my chance of earning a slightly higher pay than the rest of the cohort! HAHA. What can I say? In situations like this,it's just "man for himself".
I couldn't stop smiling(thinking about this) although I was waiting for my number to appear on the doctor's dashboard.My long-awaited check up, indeed! Dr. Lim sent me for an x-ray only to find that my bone was subtly dented(due to the knocking of netballs, rugby balls, ping pong balls etc, etc repeatedly) and that I needed to go for ultrasound this coming Monday. I just pray for the best and hopefully,I don't need any surgeries to bring me back in shape, yar? ;)

2006-01-31T14:59:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 21ST to the one and only.. *tedeng*

2006-01-31T14:56:00.000+08:00

With lotsa love and hugs to the old one. =)

2006-01-31T14:55:00.000+08:00

We're happy people!

2006-01-29T23:23:00.000+08:00

chinese new year indeed!there's not too many interesting entertainment on the tv nor are there any cool programmes running on the scv.normally,there's always a movie marathon thingy even in the noon but i guess channel 5 will only run them all tomorrow.grrr.. luckily i have my copy of newsweek and some non-fictional books to fill up those wicked afternoon time.didn't you know that afternoon time sucks cause it makes me sleepy?! heh, or is it just me?
oh man,oh man,i can't stop thinking about my attachment thingy and whatever words that came out from david's mouth last wednesday.honestly,i hope he didn't mean what he said or i'd be screwed.really. arghhhh..
alas! monday is just a few minutes away and it'll also mark a special occasion for my super sweet sayang! hee, birthday on the way! *hurhur* i've got things specially planned out for tomorrow's programme and hopefully,it'll turn out unexpectedly pleasant. =)

i can't wait, i can't wait...!!

2006-01-28T12:28:00.000+08:00

12 Things that I WANT to do during holidays:
1. have fun with Christina!
2. seoul gardenin' with my jc mates
3. to the beach with marini
4. gigs with sara
5. little india with rai
6. dinners with cindy, mel, elaine, eileen(s), grace, isaac?!?
7. chillin' out with spence and the guys
8. movies with armar
9. starbucking with khai and farhana
10. wala-wala with wee wee, elaine, kuan liang, ronald
11. tanning with ade
12. getting crazy with kailing

2006-01-28T11:33:00.000+08:00

I feel like jack in the box!Trapped in my world of dreams,illusions and fantasies!Like what would have been like to...make an alternative decision.For instance,how and where would I be if say,I didn't choose to go Nan Hua? And could I possibly injured my knees too if I'd taken up say, squash instead of touch?As of late,I've been thinking weird.I've even thought of traveling to Melbourne to meet Del right away and work for Playboy!Geez, things I think when I'm alone can be downright outrageous and ridiculous.
I met Sara day before yesterday and I so wanna meet her again.I guess it's with her that I can release all those trapped-thoughts.Because you know why? She's just as crazy and so it's fun!Sweet cheeky Chris left me a testimonial and what can I say? I MISS YOU TOO!!!!
Exams are around the corner and thank goodness it's chinese new year.For once, chinese new year has become my saviour cause it let me comb through all those notes and exam papers without having to drag myself to school. =)
Fazly told me he purchased tickets to fort minor's concert.Damn, that's fast considering that I've been dragging my decision-to go either for ferdinand or oasis- for the past month! DAMN! Sayang can't make it to oasis and spence claims that he loves oasis no more. Sara's going with the cool one to oasis.and what's left for me?? *hurhur*

Del, help me????

2006-01-26T23:34:00.000+08:00

Life is full of circles and unexpected events and honestly,at least I know my life is such.Initially, I was full of resistance when someone told me that everything happened for a reason but as time flew by in a wink of an eye,I believed what he said made sense.At this point,I'm delighted because of my ability to subject myself to a more challenging and intelligent obstacle without spending my time mulling over spilled milk. =)
Things do happen for a reason and for mine,it's for the better.Although I must admit that my actions and decisions do affect others around me to a huge extent,I make it a point to redeem myself in the best possible way so that both parties(others and I) are at the winning streaks. Nonetheless,there will be some inevitable circumstances which may turn out unfavourable and nasty despite me trying my best to redeem myself in the best possible way.I guess all the events,favourable or not,happen for one reason or another.And before you know it,it could possibly be a blessing in disguise.I have no idea how your life have been for you but I know mine is full of troughs and peak and colours all over the place (Note: Messy is NOT the word!!).I feel on top of the world and contented knowing for a fact that I have someone who will always be there for me.He's someone whom I trust and I know I can depend on anytime, anywhere.It's good to have this thought because I know that no matter what shit I've got myself into,there's always the "last man standing" at the end of the day smiling and telling me that everything's going to be alright.Oh,how it makes me feel complete. =) And I know for once that I'm falling for the right guy because he's so unique in a way that..he faces each problems and challenges without running away from them, he injects substantial amount of logic into my thinking hence making me more receptive to other people's belief and faith and lastly,he illustrates to me the meaning of life other than just career, house and money.Dear, your presence lifted me up from those events where I could bearly stand on my two feets. Thank you so much. =)

I love you.

2006-01-26T00:18:00.000+08:00

Somehow rather,good things never really last and that there's always more than what meets the eye.As much as I'm trying to free myself from deep thoughts and unhappiness I've felt in the past,the very thoughts just hit me back to my face once again!I don't worship the act of running away from problems nor do I worship the act of ignorance to subject matters.Ironically though, there are situations which don't require you to give your viewpoints about what had happened in the past.It simply assumes that the "past matter" will be resolved independently and automatically as the new time frame sets in and as we grow older by days.I've had plenty of friends who supports this kind of problem-solving methodology but I beg to differ.It's of no crime to hit those archives and start seeking out for those interesting,historical facts of your life which had been eventful.Oh no.. this does not mean that you have problem moving on with your future life and neither is this a sign of infatuation.I believe that historical facts of life which are once-interesting MUST never be forgotten and it should always be glorified.Basically,I love talking about some chapters of my life because those are the very chapters which brings me to where I am now. =) There are however others who don't enjoy sharing any chapters of their lives with others and again,there's nothing wrong with that.It doesn't literally means that they don't have chapters which are worth talking about.It's just that they perceive history as a lesson-learnt kinda thing that they'd prefer moving on and have high expectations for their future.But what I'm trying to highlight here is the fact that... why don't some people want to solve their old problems before jumping into the future? why isn't there a need to clarify doubts, ratify the old problems, understand why it happened and then probably think of a quick-second solution so that such problems won't be a recurring one; should they lead with their new lives. why is there a need to keep old secrets when history is such that you'll grow out of it? I hope that as I get deeper into the year, I'd find the answers to my questions. =)

2006-01-24T22:54:00.000+08:00

As of late,I found myself reminiscing about my past and in particular,my secondary school life.I guessed Spence's birthday brought back many fond memories that were still deeply entrenched in my heart.Oh how I missed those good, old days! How nice it would be if I could get to ride the roller coaster once more. =) Trust me,it was such fun.

Anyway, here's the lyrics to the song that keeps rewinding in my head for the past 3 days or so:-

Today is gonna be the day
That they're gonna throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you gotta do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do about you now

Backbeat the word was on the street
That the fire in your heart is out
I'm sure you've heard it all before
But you never really had a doubt
I don't believe that anybody feels
The way I do about you now

And all the roads we have to walk along are winding
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding
There are many things that I would
Like to say to youI don't know how

Because maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me?
And after all
You're my wonderwall

Today was gonna be the day
But they'll never throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you're not to do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do
About you now

2006-01-22T12:14:00.000+08:00

I was coughing the whole damn night away.Gawd,my throat hurts real bad now but the idea of lunching at seoul garden later seems to soothe the situation; or so,i think. =) The parrrtty over at spence's house wassssssss crazzyyyy last night. Met up with the old friends as well as the new ones too! They were such sweethearts and have always been sweetheartsto me.I'm glad that spence's now a more confident guy than I last knew him. goodness me. everyone's freaking out when i told them it's been 3 years since i last saw spence and the guys for that matter!? heh,see how life feels you up that most of the time you don't feel that you're leaping forward? Of course,spence deserved such BIG hugs and big present from me! heh,wanted to come up with something crazy but thanks to the people in the shop,i changed my condom idea. well,strawberry condom that comes along with a pair of RA tickets are still my preferred gift idea for spence; especially knowing how he's like and how he does miracles! =) and actually, actually i had a contigent idea should the initial idea failed(which failed,if you guys hadn't already know) i.e. to get him a pair of oasis tickets. but dammit! he's in the army so yea,that explains alot right?NS kills most of the coolest, live entertainment, man! and i got to know from keng yang that spence listens to A1 now?!?! like what the hell?!!?whatever happens to the punk cum rock guy i knew man? he changed from a rocker to some sentimental guy? damn. the most ridiculous thing is that he's yearning to attend backstreet boys concert. GAWD.what a drastic change! is it true when people said that.." love changes you.."?? I've yet to attest to that man. =) like,my sayang doesn't change me..he merely corrects me! hahahahaha. anyways,the party was mad fun yesterday and thanks ade for your company. really. i miss such company especially now that spence's got himself a girlfriend. hurhur.
i enjoyed myself soooo much that i'm on the verge of losing myself man.
i laughed too much.
i gossiped quite a lot.
i converse quite a bit.
i mingle way tooooo much.
more importantly, it was such great memory spence gave me.

happy birthday, spence!

P/S: i was really touched when his mum showed me the gift i gave spence when we were in secondary 2! Really, really touched. =) great memories indeed!

2006-01-19T22:05:00.000+08:00

I feel like I've woken up from a terribly long sleep.I feel a trillion times better,fresher,energized and more importantly, happier right now.The last few months were polluted with many negativity in thoughts,distractions in daily life and other unimportant matters.I guess it's no use looking back in anger and joting down all those things that I "should-have-not-done" on a piece of A5 notebook.Honestly,I feel that the sun is up all over again and I'm elated on that very fact. The supplement that Sayang bought me was such a sweetheart!That big,fugly GNC pills ARE helping me in regaining an everlasting energy despite the afternoon sun,the TV and the bed! And it was thoughtful of you to shower me with such supplements. =)
By the way,the registration for Business Development earlier in the day went on pretty smoothly except for the fact that the respective venues were overcrowded and congested with people who were trying to "match-make".Fortunately for me,my group was formed 3 weeks before today (aka the registration day) and I'm praying that my group combination would be pretty solid and adaptive to each other's working style. *cross finger*
Wish me luck, you guys!

Last but not least,the open house looks fun from external;especially with the innovex being the centre of attraction for everybody.Everybody includes strangers on the trains, buses, taxi, cars, bikes, bicycles and other passer-bys.I guess I'll only get to feel the fever cum Saturday. Remember? Saturday = Duty day? *hurhur*

2006-01-18T23:44:00.000+08:00

In CRA lecture today,David dismissed such bad news to all of us(the banking classes).Nothing of exam related or life-threatening events whatsoever.It's merely regarding the short time framed internship programme which lasts for only 6 weeks.Personally,it's rather disappointing for me because com'on it's such a freaking short period!!Yes,I know.. like what the hell?but you know what's more hurtful? the fact that some banks are shying away from us.This is not due to our bad reputation or bad blood or basket case scenarios.The banks just don't find it worthwhile to recruit the majority of us(my cohort).And the sole reason being the short time-frame!!!David mentioned about the limited places for banking positions and I predict 75% of us have to settle for other best alternatives.And unfortunately for us,what he meant by this is that we have to source for ourselves;what we deem would be the next best alternative job.It sucks having to fend for our own internship because firstly,you got to have many,many contacts, secondly, you've got to find the one who offers you a better-paying job and lastly, you got to be mentally prepared to work in other industries other than banking and financial institutions.Although I did get help from my beloved cousin about the possible banks or law firms I could try out,I guess now's not the time for me to be too dependent or take her for granted.So can I start by asking any of you guys here.. if you have "lobangs" in any industry, do give me a holla. I'm willing to spare some time reading your interesting "lobangs".For your great help,thanks a lot. =)
By the way, it's sheislydia@yahoo.com

2006-01-12T21:02:00.000+08:00

i wonder what makes the eye all-so dried up.is it because of fatigue or lack of good sleep or being under the sun for too long?gawd,i'm eager to know because it seems to me that the only effective remedy is to sleep.ironically,sleeping is not what i think i need.in fact,i'll be missing out on alot of stuff if i were to fall asleep let's say now.arggh..anyway,the rainy season didn't bring much advantage to my class's stall because ours was held outdoors;unlike all the others--for your information,today is SB(school of business)'s day and each class is given a chance to set up their own booth-games or food.My class chose the former and came up with the idea of playing penalty shoot-outs.Each participant is required to pay $2 in order to kick the ball(trials + the actual shoot-out).If the participant concedes a goal,he will win $3 and on top of that,they'll receive a gift(courtesy of SB club)--hence this made our stall un-free from all the rain and drizzles throughout the day.nonetheless,i'm pretty much happy that despite the on-off rain,my class managed to raise $59 in all. not only did we succeed to make a breakeven,we made profits as well.all those efforts,albeit the unfriendly weather,were worth all the energy! =)
okay,other than being Dida of the day and manning the desperate-looking stall,i had fun time visiting other food stalls and game stations too!cool as they were but nothing beat my stall. really.yeah,not even the haunted house.aveline,sharon and i may seem desperate cause of the fact tt we decided to queue for an hour or so just to get in.but you know what?it was not worth my $2 at all!!! *hurhur* ping-in game(manned by jeanie's class)was pretty much boring.heh, yeah and the 50 cents per game was definitely not worth it as well.hehe. as per normal,what i love most about SB day is the fact that we don't have lessons and that the food stalls are selling YUMMYLICIOUS! food.oh and i didn't get in the so-called disco cause i predict it'll be boring.i guess other than dancing,drinking and kissing,there's nothing more i can expect from being in the disco! hah,wait..disco sounds retro but i guess that's the concept that particular class is trying to enforce. anyway,i had my share of fun and laughter and excitement.i just hope for this term to be over as soon as possible..

oh,did i mention?
these days, i feel oh-s0-lazy and man,today just feels like a friday to me.grrr...i've yet to complete my readings on 2 other chapters for monday's test.i've got to get it started hur.

so there you go.. ciao people.

2006-01-12T20:02:00.000+08:00

Seems like I can't get enough of the camera! Camera whore?Nah.. just occasional snapshot.By the way,meet Aveline.

2006-01-12T20:01:00.000+08:00

(nerdy)Sharon and me,awaiting...

2006-01-12T19:59:00.000+08:00

A blurry picture of me outside one of the many classrooms.Aveline,Sharon and I were queing up for the haunted house.Guess what?It took us an hour before we finally got in.It's no surprise I got bored thereafer.

2006-01-08T02:09:00.000+08:00

Honestly,I've been enjoying myself for the last few weeks and I believe it's good to have such a fresh kick-start in this brand new year.Actually,I've made several resolutions for this new year though I'm not sure if I can stick to it.And probably I should stop using this phrase.."but me being me..".You get what I mean?If I'm always sticking to that motto,I guess I'll never progress in terms of personal development.In this brand new year,I hope to conquer those impossibilities and overcome the many life-barriers so that I can attain self-actualisation.Unless I attain self-actualisation stage,there'll never be happiness in the things that I do.There are instances where I believe I've been contemplating to whatever demands that are set forth for me that I actually forget to use my mind to think for myself.On a happier note,I'm overjoyed on the fact that I've been meeting old faces again.I know there's no point regretting on things that I didn't do and should have done.That's why I'm pleased that the beginning of my 2006 begins with me meeting up with old classmates,schoolmates and basically old faces.It's like an unexpected gift. =) Ann Ming turned 21 today (HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYYYY,ANN MING! LIKE I SAID,BE WISER AND MORE MATURED,LAH AH!! )!! Thanks for your invitation cause it surprises me.You were my lower-sec classmate and good friend.Although we kinda get adrift by the time we're in upper sec and going to different colleges,you just caught me by surprise by handing out birthday invitation to me.Truly,I'm very grateful and happy that I'm one of your many good friends.Whatever it is,all the best in your studies in NUS(thereafter) and enjoy the last army days before civilian life conquers it all. *hurhur* Wee Jian,on the other hand,is a really good companion.It's not that I've been ignorant on this fact.It's just that I'm emphasizing this side of him yet again.Don't get me wrong,I'm no promoter or sales personnel.I'm just a good friend of Wee Wee. =) By the way,today is Del's departure date.I managed to wake myself up from a totally comfortable morning sleep hence making my way to Changi Airport(from Jurong) at 9.30 am in the morning.The things that I do for friends sound crazy but you know what?true friends are worth keeping.She's one of the non-superficial friend I've ever met in poly and someone who'll always be there.Though she and I can be different in a way,I guess opposite attracts! =) Anyway,I met her family members just before Del and her mum parted.It was sad especially for Del's sister but I guess we all ought to get use to people leaving for overseas.Just take it that they'll be safe and they'll have a fun time there!I'm just wondering how does it feel like to be living and studying alone in an alien country.One thing that comes to my mind is:YEAAA,baby! Last but not least,my Friday meet-up with Cindy (Crawford), Ida (kNEE) and Elaine (Chong) was so much fun.Finally I get to meet Cindy after so much delays and postpone.I know I've been delaying and postponing our date of meeting but you know what?This year's going to be so much better, baby! =) Ida told us about her life in Adelaine and man,seems to me that life rocks down there.Weather is always cooling;at least cooler than Singapore. =) AAAHHH...what can I say? I LOVE moments like this.

Psst.. Christina?!?!

You there?

2006-01-08T01:56:00.000+08:00

yea,me and the birthday boy,ann ming! at his chevron chalet! first time there thou!

2006-01-08T01:54:00.001+08:00

Yeah,you bet.Same place,same hour,same us!

2006-01-08T01:54:00.000+08:00

We @ the airport!

2006-01-06T21:32:00.000+08:00

Can you see our outline??? Thanks to the Mos Burger boy cause we have such pretty picture now! *hurhur*

2006-01-06T21:29:00.001+08:00

This is my dearest Cindy and Ida Nee!!

2006-01-06T21:29:00.000+08:00

And Elaine!!

2006-01-06T21:28:00.000+08:00

test-test 123

2006-01-06T21:25:00.000+08:00

Ida & ME!!!!!!

2006-01-03T20:01:00.000+08:00

Let's see.. what did I do on the first day of school? Nothing. I'm never really fond of schooling as a matter of fact. Anyway,the abercrombie and fitch pull-over is soooo pretty!And it's greyyy!! But you know what makes matter worse? When you're broke and you've got not much money for yourself.Ironically though,I've got to make sure my pocket's deep enough to buy presents,presents and lots of them!See,most of my good friends' as well as my boyfriend's birthdays are around the corner =)
Did I mention that schooling is never boring when you've got the right people around you all the time?See,Aveline,Fel and I were busy discussing and planning for our post-school getaway to Indonesia next year.Man,I can't wait to visit Aveline's and Fel's houses in Jakarta and I can't wait to get to Bandung and other attractions in Indonesia.People might say it's too early for us to plan but I beg to differ.What's wrong with planning early?At least I've got aplenty of time to save up. =) Hee.. Too bad Andreas is now in Vancouver;if not,I'd have to crash his place too!
Specially to Sayang: It's not that I'm not worried about your health condition or anything.I believe,with frequent follow-ups and religiously consuming the prescribed medication,you'll get back on two feets again!Relax,baby! Everything's alright so you can spare all those worries. Trust me,dear. Love you. =)

2006-01-02T11:11:00.000+08:00

Jalan Kayu's prata is one of a kind!Yeah,you're right.It's my first visit there hence my first meal too.I think,without my sayang,I wouldn't have went all the way to Hougang to have that =) Cocoa Prata rocks! But you know what rocks more? The price. =)

2006-01-02T10:56:00.000+08:00

This picture is taken in 2001.Guess where am I???

2006-01-02T10:55:00.000+08:00

Candid Shot #2

2006-01-02T10:54:00.000+08:00

Candid Shot #1

2006-01-02T10:53:00.000+08:00

Here it is,the Clementi Mac!

2006-01-01T12:46:00.000+08:00

counting down to 2006 at the esplanade has never fail to put smiles on our faces.what can i say? yesterday's countdown at esplanade was unlike any other. not that my group of friends changed or something. there's actually a laser-kinda display which was held beautifully right before and after the fireworks ended. An added element,i must say.But you know what? despite the many families, couples, friends and inconsiderate neighbours, the excitement of watching the fireworks overwhelmed all that uncomfortable situations. you know,crowd sucks! but you know what sucks more? when your sayang wasn't there to embrace the moment with you.

anyway,anyway, as soon as the fireworks ended,we squeezed through the many people and made our way to Marina;only to find that it's closed! Grrr...wanted to watch a movie but the last timing was 12.20am and we were there at 12.25am.Just our luck, i must say.It was more than an hour journey on the 97 bus to Clementi.We hanged around at Clementi Mac til Liting's dad and Kuan Liang came to fetch. Spending the night at Liting's house watching DVDs and playing cards were just.. splendid! =)

Happy 2006, you all!

2005-12-30T18:23:00.000+08:00

i thought yesterday's afternoon rain spoilt it all.see,Rai and I had planned to have prata and teh tarik at 4 pm but thanks to the rain,everything was cancelled.i thought i'd have another dreadful afternoon studying at home.but you know what?it was all a blessing in disguise cause Sara, being her,texted me and we went for lingerie shopping despite the stormy weather.HAHA. lingerie shopping was good though ERO was such a disappointment.80% discount indeed!! the designs were so uncool and retro.you know what i mean.if you haven't already know, its quite nyonya-like and plain!! in the end,we settled for John Little.Teeee-shirt braaaaa!!! HAHA. nice and comfy and costly at the same time.grrr.. anyway,anyway, the korean noodle at banquet still hasn't lose its flavour.i'm lovin' it.its spiciness was.. one of a kind! =)

2005-12-28T20:48:00.000+08:00

..."...combed Choa Chu Kang Central in a mission to find BLOCK 26.It took us(my sister and I)a solid 1 hour and all in the name of wanting to get my sister's school uniform.I must say that it was an especially tiring hike up and down the Choa Chu Kang hill before we finally reach our final location i.e.Teck Whye Lane.The hot afternoon sun DID NOT help,alright? Anyway,the queue was bloody long because 4 aunties thought that they owned this asset called "time".One of the aunties almost drove me to the wall.She was indecisive and oblivious to the fact that a long line was waiting for her to get her things done.What can I say? Unbelievable. Nevertheless,a long-awaited lunch at Fish & Co. with "moi" sweeeteeessttt friend, DEL was heavenly.Not to the fact that the Swordfish I had was specially prepared or anything. But to the fact that I finally got to meeeettttt DEELLLLL.It was not surprising that she became cuter by months, eh? =) Tampines Mall, albeit a distance I never thought I would enjoy covering(at least not for the time being), was still the "same" as when I last left that place.Amazing.With the many, many people and mats and typical minahs and bengs and lians and ah-sohs and ah-kows.. it was yet another awesome neighbourhood. =) You know what's the silliest thing ever? Not having pictures taken with a loved one(loved one= Del) *hurhur*
GREEEEAAATTTTTT meeting you, baby! and welcome back!! heh,at least for this short span of time.And man,do we miss Serene and Gaya and Stephanie and the place where we had maggi mee(in the middle of the night)during our camp at Pahlawan Beach.

To all those sweet memories......MUAHHHH!

2005-12-27T08:41:00.000+08:00

Xmas day= my grandpa's birthday.
so what did I have on the 25th? a spreeeaaadddd!

steamboat-ing the crabmeat,fishballs,mushrooms,vege,sausages,prawns,squids...
BBQ-ing the chiken marinated in bbq sauce, satayyyy
Home-made Chicken Rice
Konnikuniya Jellies
Rojak Bandong
free flow of soursop drink, fruit punch, cocktail, gassy drinks..

I ate til my stomach hurt. it was such a spread, not to be missed. it was such a reunion where my little cousins, my aunts and uncles make it a point to be there. it was such a festive season indeed! Great, great xmas and to top it all off,I got to meet Sayang. Yes,despite my busy schedule I do make some time eh.. *hurhur* I don't celebrate xmas but since...

Xmas day is my grandpa's birthday,
Grandpa's birthday is fun
Therefore xmas is equally fun! YIPEE!

Agreed???

2005-12-26T12:40:00.000+08:00

okay,now that most of my assignments are done,its now time to really enjooooyy the holidays. man,holidays like this don't come often,ya know? anyway,spence's updated me about his new girlfriend. good thing that circles come around. like what they normally say, what goes around comes around. spence's been chasing her since he was in sec 4 and she was in sec 1. now,he's in Ns and she's in acjc. wishing you all the best and all the lucks, baby! oh,if you happen to read this, i'm sorry for behaving childishly when you spilled the news to me back then. guess you didn't tell me anything about her til you guys got together. got me by surprise eh. =)
what must i say.. xmas is just another day for me. lunch at new york pizza rocks though the staff mixed up our pizza and i didnt get my brooklyn! grrr.. then again,its season greetings. no use being all so worked up over some stupid pizza. finallyyyy, i've got my golden ballerina shoes. call me slow, i don't care. baby got me that pretty, Cinderella shoes and man,i can't wait to put them on! i've been yearning for this pumps for like ages. now that i've got it, guess all i have to say it.. good things happen when you least expect it to. *hurhur*
feels like going swimming with my family and cousins later but yeah, its raining season so i'll save it for laters. my plans for today? probably a walk down town and catching a good movie. or maybe something different than just that. i don't know. guess i'll be random, as usual. meeting sara for lingerie shopping tomorrow and then dinner with del thereafter. it's a great way to start this week, baby!

2005-12-25T23:41:00.000+08:00

Check out my aura colour!!

Lyd, you're a Turquoise!
We don't need a psychic to tell us that you're giving off a Turquoise vibe. Turquoise types are often intelligent, energetic leaders. Vibrant and dynamic, you take center stage wherever you go; people are naturally drawn in by your charismatic nature. You love to learn, and you excel at remembering facts and figures. More than likely, you're a go-getter with your eyes on the prize. Respect and influence tend to come to you easily, but that doesn't mean you sit around waiting for them. What fun is achieving something if getting there isn't a challenge? Always pushing your limits, you'd be a natural on Survivor — a healthy competitive instinct and a willingness to take risks means you usually reach your goals. You like to look, feel, and act your best; if all those ducks are in a row, nothing's gonna get in your way.

check it out: http://web.tickle.com/channel/mind/

2005-12-22T22:01:00.000+08:00

I wonder if it's too late for me to know something additional about myself.It's about how education system is being implemented in Singapore and thereafter how the teachers/lecturers scope us in such a way that our mentality is always bounded.I realise that nobody in my classes actually asks why or how or why must it be this way kinda questions.Instead,most of the people just take in all information with no questions asked.I'm not trying to tell you that I'm different from the rest.The message I'm trying to convey here is that.. although I'm indifferent from them in this way,I realised that there's still part of me that keeps wondering. You know,wonder how you get the answer and why things happen this or that way.I find myself trying to touch my nose in a crooked,elaborated way rather than touching it straight from the point.Taking into consideration that everybody is different,I must admit that I do feel sad when my friends take in information which are deemed important and which will be coming out for exams.I understand the need for how-to-score-well-in-exams kinda shit but hey,don't people in general wants to get something more than just exams, papers and stupid tests??And results,medals,scholarships,degrees and doctorate? I think in time to come,people will get too excited and focused on exam-tested questions that they tend to ignore the rest.Don't tell me the topics or questions which are not going to be tested in exams are deemed unimportant? If you think so,then, why would we want to get our minds bounded by people? After all,the examiners and testers are people. Again,here I'm trying to highlight on the fact that we should never ignore information which are non-exam-based because whatever it is,the information is there for one reason or another.

Well,what can I say.. I'm deep in thoughts this Thursday night and perhaps,it got to do with how getting an "A" is a big issue to me.It wasn't such a big issue ever since my first semester and first year but now,the fact that I realise this side of myself... the "A" issue matters.

2005-12-18T12:14:00.000+08:00

yes Del,I'm actually doing it!

7 things that scare me.
1. animals
2. death
3. losing my loved ones
4. people wearing those cartoon costumes.
5. the unknown
6. blood
7. witchcrafts

7 things that i like the most.
1. music
2. fast and pretty cars
3. soccer
4. leathers
5. animals' skins
6. Belgium ice-creams
7. footwear

7 important things in my room.
1. bed
2. computer + internet
3. photo abums
4. cards I've received for the last 20 years
5. television
6. my collection of VCDs and CDs
7. fan?

7 random facts about me.
1. i enjoy changes and trying out something new everyday
2. i love sports and adventure
3. i can get whiny and phoney when I'm tired
4. i'm direct when it comes to having conversations
5. i prefer talking to listening and that's why i enjoy debating on issues
6. i get injured easily; even without playing sports whatsoever
7. i encountered telepathy for my loved ones especially my grandma!

7 things i plan to do before i die.
1. Have dinner-party at a convention hall with everyone I've crossed paths with
2. Bungee-Jump in Europe with my close buddies
3. Writing down my will cause I plan to donate my organs to people who're trying very hard just to live
4. Take a photograph with Eminem
5. Take part in Amazing Race with Wee Wee
6. Drive a red,hot ferrari on one of the American roads
7. Get even closer to God and hopefully,my sins throughout this lifetime can be cleared

7 things i can do.
1. Perform a solo in front of everyone
2. Plan for my future plans with all the details written in black and white
3. Trust a person within 1 hour on the day we first met
4. Change my opinions so quickly that sometimes people just label me as "indecisive" and "untrustworthy"
5. Eat Nasi Lemak and complement it with 2 glasses of soya-bean drink
6. Get people to listen to me on most occasions
7. Getting extremely jealous

7 things i can't do.
1. lie; i'm so bad at this that sometimes when I try to save my ass,I get caught. Red-handed!
2. pretend;obviously,I'm bad at pretending so don't tell me to pretend to like something when in actual fact I don't.If I don't enjoy doing something,I'll walk off.And if I don't like anybody,I'll let him/her know.
3. changing myself for acceptance;by doing this,it only means that i'm betraying myself.i don't need to change myself to be accepted cause it's not friends that i'm lacking.
4. having smooth conversations with people I don't feel comfortable with
5. stay at home for the whole day;cause i can go crazy.this,I warn you.
6. get close to animals;yes,i believe cats kill so there you go..
7. fixing;yes,I'm such an idiot when it comes to fixing computer problems,internet problems,television problems and even cellphone problems.I'm bad at "fixing".

7 things i say the most.
1. hey baby..
2. ..take good care of yourself aight?
3. huh??
4. let's go to somewhere new..
5. you know...
6. listen!
7. but why??

7 celebs i admire.
1. Eminem
2. Mariah Carey(the sex-bomb cum diva)
3. Sitiiiiiii...
4. Dr.Evil
5. Madonna (she's almost 50 and look at her body shape!!!amazing.)
6. Julia Roberts (she's one of the best actresses, ever!)
7. this bollywood actress.. and apparently,I've forgotten her name for now. Grrr...

2005-12-18T10:49:00.001+08:00

One more pic to prove it.

2005-12-18T10:49:00.000+08:00

Yup,this is us at Seoul Garden!!!!! =)

2005-12-18T01:42:00.000+08:00

Let me first dedicate this entry to my sweet,little sayang of mine.I wana let you know that..you mean so much more than just Seoul Garden's lunch,Prada purses,Fendi handbags,D & G Boots,telephone bills,Bits & Pieces Rings,Perlini Silver's Necklace,Levis Jeans,Guess watches and all that branded accessories money can buy.Your dedication,support,understanding,love and care are values which will and always be embedded in my heart-forever and always.I used to loathe on the fact that we're both different people.And that we live life differently.But as we grow closer by days,I realise the importance of differences in our characters.I realise how our personalities perfectly match i.e. whatever qualities you're lacking,you've found it in me and vice versa.It's amazing how you and I are able to connect well. intellectually.I love it this way and you've certainly change my mindset about life.It's because of you that I've become a much better person and someone with a better quality.Throughout all these months of hardship,I can safely smile and say that "You're a gift from God."

Thanks for believing in me.Now I believe miracles do exist. =)
I love you.

Yup,so you guys have pretty much guess what I did in the afternoon.I had a super-long Seoul Garden lunch with him and man,it left my stomach bloated for the next 5 hours or so.I realise that I'm much more of a meat person and I'm a crazy carnivore.Unlike me,my sayang's into vege, vege and lotsa them.He loves prawn so much that I'd lost count the number of prawns he'd eaten thus far.Nonetheless,it was one of the best meals I ever had.Thanks for the greattttt feast and more importantly,thanks for making my day a cheery one.
After lunch,we went to Thomson and had prata and our favourite TEH TARIK!Nice.... and he had banana prata.Looks like Seoul Garden wasn't successful enough to make sayang bloat for the day.So yup..and to top it off,I had to trip over the drain and fell beside it.Laugh if you want but that's how clumsy I can get sometimes.Wait... all the times. so yeah..We parted after prata session and I made my way down to the glasshouse for dinner with my high school mates.God,I just love them to pieces.I mean,nothing compares to having conversations with them cause there's basically nothing that we've not gone through together.We had our fair share of quarrels,misunderstandings,happiness,sadness and satisfaction;but at the end of the day,I can really certify that they make such good buddies.They're people who had and have been there for me since day one.They're people whom I'd love to dedicate my life to.And they're the people who has made me a happier,cheerful and better friend.Though time has part us(in one way or another),I'm so grateful and thankful to have met them in this life.There's basically nothing more I could ever ask for. =)

2005-12-17T10:14:00.000+08:00

The Siam Kitchen over at Choa Chu Kang sucks.No wonder when I insisted on dining in there with Kailing,she kept telling me the food sucks.Grr..maybe this is what happens when you don't listen.I guess i have a problem listening and I guess farah agrees.haha,there's several occasions on the field where I made her screamed and telling me to listen!!! gee,really.i have to start listening and less talking.Farah,if you're reading this, hehee,I'm sorry. =)
Anyway,I'm already up and ready to get down town.I've got plenty of errands to run and man,I just can't wait for the dinner with my high school buddies.

counting down now...

To you guys, have a fun time this weekend and this holidays!

2005-12-16T00:37:00.000+08:00

So it's 4 days since I've last blogged; and there's been so many things happening in and around me. tuesday's test was.. rather fine. but i think i'll pull it off anyway. and wednesday..let me see.. if it hadn't been for the babes,i wouldn't wanna drag my ass down town.see,a good friend of mine is back in Singapore for a break after a year of studying in Canada. and i miss her sooooooooooooooooooo much.i swear that my tears almost gave me away but there's nothing much I can do, can I?I just miss her.She said she's not going to be here next year so, yup that fact just tears me down at the end of the day.God,I hope she'll be fine and be strong always. yup,and of course I know su-an will be there as well. So my dearest (oopseyy!) su-an,please take good care of nana. you have to, aight? =)
so what happened that day was...we had desserts at secret recipe. nice dessert session plus all those sweet little memories talk about our college lives.man,i love those good-o-days. =) anyway,thanks to my craving for some orange-julius..we actually made our way down to near-heeren.Strawberry-kiwi!!! mmm... YUMMY!
and that's where we have our crazy pictures taken.in front of that orange julius counter.errr..?
but of course,the most emotional part was when we parted.Really.man,I don't want to mention it.Like what weird people always say, "for me to know and for you to find out.." hehehe.

2005-12-16T00:33:00.001+08:00

yup, she wasn't ready.

2005-12-16T00:33:00.000+08:00

she's one of the best I've had.

2005-12-16T00:32:00.000+08:00

cheers!

2005-12-12T23:09:00.000+08:00

The microanalysis presentation turned out.... bad!!Well,worse than what I had expected. It was not the speakers who spoke funny and neither was it our semi-formal outfits which gave it away.Guess what?the database was back to haunt us. all i could remember was that,the database was pretty alluring. you know, in a way,i have friends who admire our database cause having to watch the figures all balanced up just blew their minds off. hehe.anyway,the charts were the ones which pulled us to the low zero. man,out of the 6 charts presented, he complimented on only 3 charts and rest were in for some serious criticism.honestly,i never felt so humiliated and embarassed like that before.i mean, to have him saying our charts was more silly and stupid compared to his self-proclaimed "statistician chart". he claimed statisticians knew no sense except tonnes and tonnes of summary-work.you know,like all show but no work that kinda thing.i was despair but right then,i knew he meant well.but hey,it'll help if he had skipped all that criticisms and saved it for some other groups.hehehe...at least my day would be more cheery.
anyway, one presentation done.2 more tests and 1 more presentation to go before holidays step in! eeeeee haaa.. (jessica's style) this holiday, i foresee myself spending three-quarter of the time going out and having fun rather than staying in and doing some serious revision. hehe. what to do.. it's festive seasons man!
by the way,i caught chicken little at grand yesterday and man,it sucked. the show sucked.it sucked all the juicy elements inside and it sucked $20 from our account. grrr... the show was simply.. for the dummies! you know what sucked even more? when your sayang keeps insisting animated movies are simply one of the kind. funny as hell. but no? i don't get that feeling when i caught chicken little. cartoon as it is but, the show's lacking of something. i don't know what thing but.. yeah, that thing. i wanted to watch the descent but sayang said "..enough of the gory stuff.." grrrr....
you know, most of the times... i find myself preparing and thinking of the future more than accepting my current situation.i wonder if it's a common thing among us but i feel that way. sometimes,i even worry more about the future than anything else. like,where exactly in canada am i going to settle down at? or what kind of vehicles i'd love to have for work and for family? now, am i materialistic or what??? but did you get my point? yea. that is what i'm aiming at.i've never really had anybody who said that i'm a futuristic kinda girl but i believe i'm that girl. =)

best thing about blogging when you're tired: you start uttering and writing rubbish!

hehehehehehehee...

goodnight!

2005-12-06T23:43:00.000+08:00

You're an ENTJ
ENTJ
Ok. Now for the payoff: You take charge quickly and deal directly with problems...especially in situations that involve confusion or inefficiency...you develop broad, action-oriented plans an supply the necessary enthusiasm and momentum to see that the plans are completed....you "take charge" and organize your (and others') external world...you don't take "no" for an answer -- stubborn jerk! -- and use your resources to find a way to meet the challenge...
Yer at yer best when using your analytical and strategic thinking... ok, ok... you're a leader, and quite happy being one, dammit...you see education as a major way of getting ahead...you don't mind learning about the past if it can help you in the future...
You like to debate issues and view problems from all sides...you often become your job...your sense of identity is closely tied to how well you carry out yer responsibilities...like posting on the Storm Palace BBS... you are fiercely competitive, strategic and task-focussed...
You cannot NOT lead...you decide quickly and effectively...you don't like taking leisure just for leisure's sake (there HAS to be a purpose to it)... You *hate* having nothing to do...you like regularly scheduled constructive activities....you're disciplined that way....you lead with a hearty and frank style...
Love has to be practical, doesn't it? Has to fit into the bigger picture before you "allow" it to happen...you get particularly hung-up on attactive people... you often wonder if you can win the heart of the good-lookin' stud or chick, like a challenge....you'll be hard-working partner...you'll probably believe that the hard work you do to provide is your expression of "love."... you expect to have your needs met in a relationship, but still like to keep your independence... when that can no longer happen, it's not "logical" to stay with him or her and you bail...
Watch out for deciding to chase a goal too quickly... keep your overall goal in mind and understand that there is more than one way to get there...factor in the needs of others...don't suppress your emotions for too long, or they'll take control of your personality. What do I mean? Like, you'll overreact or respond inappropriately to a situation because you haven't been paying attention to your inner feelings on the way....take the time to make sense of your feelings and analyze them.... don't overlook others' needs when you get really task-focussed...

ENTJ: "Executives Need Tough Jobs"

muahahaha.... I was surfing the net in school library this afternoon when i came across this site under the history tab. funny test... but is it the real me?
mmm...
mm...

what do you think?